Craziest Dream

Let me start this off with saying that I never usually have this weird of dreams, but I thought this one was interesting enough to share.

It started off with me being with some friends at a theme park, or some kind of gathering. I didn't get to enjoy being at this place sadly, because we were just leaving. I'm sure I had fun though because I bring the party with me.

(All of the circles are random people, I'm too lazy to draw that many individuals.)

For some reason, I drove to this place alone, so I said my goodbyes and started to walk out of the park to my car. 

Now, word around town is that there are these people that kidnap people and do sexual things, most likely some sort of rape. They grab people in public and make them leave with them. There was some certain thing that they said to everyone, but I can't quite remember this. And this whole hijacking thing is a result of watching too much Sherlock, but I digress.

This guy grabbed my arm, said that phrase and my heart dropped. For a second I didn't know what to do. But then I remembered that we were around like a thousand people and this is how it went:

I don't know why this was such a surprise to the guy, I guess everyone else was really stupid. But I yelled out that this was one of the guys and then, in a small group of people someone popped up. I work at a hospital for the Radiologists there and for some reason one of the doctors I work for was at the park.

(My friend made me draw bodies on those random people.)

He asked me if I needed help and of course I did. So he jumped out and martial arts'd the fuck outta that guy. But the only move I really remember was that he slapped him in the face really hard and fast. 

I guess the guy had never encountered such awesomeness, but he admitted defeat and ran away. For a second, I assumed I should just leave and for some weird reason, I had a limp.

Then I got my wits about me and went back to thank my rescuer. We hugged for like five minutes and I was uncontrollably sobbing. 

And then like the sarcastic assmunch that he is in real life, he responded with this:

It was a lot more sarcastic in my dream and if you knew him, you'd understand even more.

So that was pretty much the end. Although, I had a few more other dreams that I can't quite remember, but I never wanted to be left alone in fear of being kidnapped. Damn you, glorious Sherlock for putting ideas in my head!

Dani

My cat is the cutest cat ever. I dare you to challenge me, because you shall lose.

Now, I say she's the cutest, but she's also the weirdest cat I have ever met. I got her about 4 months ago and I'd say she's about 9 months old, so she's still rambunctious and crazy. But when I say weird..I mean weird. She's also fat.

First of all, she's just as good as an alarm clock. Kind of. When my alarm clock goes off and I move, she's all "What?!? Awake?? PLAY!" and attacks and/or walks all over me. Then I get up and go to the bathroom and do my morning things and I come back to this:

I think she actually enjoys scaring the shit out of me. Which, I mean, I can obviously see her over the chair, but then I egg her on and stare at her and come close and then she pounces. I'll also walk around the house and get attacked, or be doing something on my bed and she'll grab my head. Ohh, and you know that ninja kitty video where the cat comes closer every time the camera looks back? Yeah, SHE DOES THAT.

She also doesn't understand the concept of her water bowl. Most of the time she can drink normally, but I've also caught her sticking her paw in it and licking her paw. I've also caught her pulling this number:

She thinks she's so fucking funny. I cannot tell you how many times I've had to mop up water she's spilled on the floor.


For the first week I had her, she didn't quite get that nighttime was for sleeping. She didn't even really have any toys yet, but she still managed to run around and play with everything in my room. But since then she's gotten better and usually sleeps on my chair for awhile and then joins me on the bed.

This works out great. I get all warm and I get to cuddle with something. But then she decides to move and thinks "I'ma get comfy, but fuck everyone else" and either tries to lay on my face or as close to it as she can get.

And I don't know if she was just ignored in her infant stage or something, but that cat never stops meowing. I swear to everything that I love, if you even stop looking at her she starts meowing up a storm. You walk into the room, you wake up in the morning, you stop petting her, you move at all, she's there in your face meowing.

But the positive side to this is that I can act like she's responding to me when I speak to her. Because she goes talk back. I promise. I'm not crazy.

Also; true story. This happened:

I don't know what her deal is with shoes, but it's starting to get a little disturbing.

All in all though, I couldn't ask for a better cat. She fits me perfectly and she's the cutest fucking thing ever. I don't know what I'd do if I had a normal pet.

Spiders are the Devil

So, my friend and I like to take walks nearly everyday to try to get us into shape. (Cause we’re awesome) After eating loads of delicious pizza and an hour of Jim Gaffigan, we decided to embark on our journey around town.

Now, it’s starting to get warmer here which means the insects and such are starting to come out. I had yet to really see anything horrifying, but about a week ago it happened.

We were only about fifteen minutes from my house just chatting about normal stuff. Then we both looked down. We both looked down to the monster below us.

We quickly avoided it by walking a safe distance away from the beast. We started to calm down a bit when we found another spider a mere two feet away from the first one.

Obviously they knew we were coming and planned this ambush. Seeing the second one freaked us out a bit more than the first. One spider is easy enough to avoid, but two?! Fuck, get me out of there.

For another block my friend and I just didn’t feel comfortable. Clearly something was about to go down and I was not about to go down without a fight. Had someone drove by at this moment, they probably would have thought were heroin addicts by trade.

But after about three blocks everything was back to normal and life was good. We eventually made it back home and wrote all this. And now, to celebrate life, we have our chocolate milk!

Caffiene

It’s a fact: I love coffee. I go to a coffee house at least once a week and there’s no place I’d rather be. But on those days that I cannot access a house of caffienated goodness, I settle with canned doubleshots and the like.
Now. I only really try to get the canned kind when I really need it. Like the other day, when I woke up at 7 30 for work, when I usually wake up at 9 or 10. My mother delivered some sweet necture of energy and I was eternally greatful.

My problem with caffiene is that I don’t think it effects me the first few sips, or the entire drink.

So, after much thought, I’ll continue to drink the entire 24 oz. beverage or purchase another. This ultimately is a bad idea.

This is when the caffiene high kicks in. I feel like I can do anything in the world. I’ll put films up at work 10 times faster, clean my whole room, clean something in the house, or play with my cat and laugh uncontrollably like I’m on drugs.

Then shit gets real. The good, energized shakey goes away and the bad, come down shakey starts to emerge. Pretty much, I need another coffee or I’m just going to die.

Once this sets in, I’m just a goggy mess. Too tired and worn out, I just sit there like a pile of crap. At this point I should probably just sleep it off, but no. I torture myself and stay awake into the wee hours of the morn.

Long story short, I drink way too much thinking it didn’t effect me and then way overdo it. It’s the same story with alcohol. Coffee and rum, my weaknesses. But rum is a different story for another day.

The first one-- Things I Have Learned

1. Wet socks are my mortal enemy. I will forever hate them and everyone shall rue the day that a drop of water gets on my sock again.

2. Six Flags has changed the name of the Evel Knievel ride. I can’t even remember the name of it now, which shows how good of an idea that was. Fuck you, Evel Knievel forever!

And that basically sums up my day yesterday at Six Flags.

So there it is.

I've decided to come here because I've got all these great ideas and tumblr isn't satisfying me. I'll probably be transferring post from there to here and then just make that account my personal blog.

But here is where all my weird, interesting, stupid shit will go. Yay! Hopefully this will be more appreciated here. Or I just made this for absolutely no reason.